In the second year, the flame was lit on the last quarter of each moon, and this became a real struggle. All the stuff I got from it was about loss and isolation, it became draining and hard work. I kept up with it though for a long time, through the bad dreams and messages, until illness and death came to my family, and I just didn't have the time any more, through my fathers illness and death, the bereavement and the funeral, and I just got out of the habit.
This year I have decided to take it up again, but on my terms, I'm not going to follow the schedule set by the Goddess Temple.
What I found without the flame, was that I lost track eventually of the moons cycle and knowing where and when I am in the grand scheme of things, and in March this year I decided to take it up again, following this simple schedule - during the light half of the year I intend to light the flame on the first quarter of each moon, and in the second quarter I shall keep it on the last quarter. So I'm not just picking the easy part, but at least I feel it is in synch with the solar cycle as well, and if things get hard again, I know that it will end, and when.
The spring equinox came, just after first quarter, so my first run was that there was no flame in the switch over from dark to light - this I found interesting in itself and I hadnt thought about that. So, April was the first lighting of the flame, and I picked up a routine again. The first time round, it took a few months to settle in with the routine until things started to kick in, so I didnt expect much from the first one, and basically it is aimed at getting me into the flow of the lunar cycle again, not as a tool for anything else.
So, my first time was just a peaceful and relaxing time, spent in ritual and meditation, the closing evening came, with more meditation, and I sat with it as the sun set, watching the colour of the sunset through the window match the colour of the flame, until it was over.
It was the end of my working week, and a beautiful clear sky, so after the flame keeping was over i decided to go out and gaze at the night sky, somewhere seclude, not really knowing where - and that will be my next post :-)
